Wednesday, August 12, 2015

The One With Brynn's Birth Story

Two years later & I'm finally posting little ones birth story.  But, what better day than her birthday to post this! 

Happy Birthday, beautiful Brynn. Momma loves you for awlays!

I know it's only been 2 years...but I find it SO hard to remember her being this little. It makes me all weepy to think about her little 6lb 11oz self.  

***As I reread this I thought, "Wow, that sounds like the WORST. I'm not gonna was painful {mostly the days after} & I was an emotional wreck, BUT I would do it again in a heartbeat. We are praying for the day we get to do it all again.***

And here goes!

We were scheduled to induce on August 13th.  We were told to be at the hospital at 12:05 AM. When we got there around 12:15 AM, they didn't have a room so they asked us to wait and they would come get us.  

 I remember thinking that I just needed to find an object to stare at, breathe, and fake calm my way through it all.  

We waited for about 15 minutes then they took us to the room. I expected that we would have a few minutes of downtime before things started...nope wrong...(also, my heart rate is up just remembering this!) the nurse came in, gave me the gown, and said she'd be back to start the IV.  At this point I was more scared of the IV and the epidural than the actual birth part.  My night nurse was wonderful (I got to have her twice since we were there so long), got the IV started no problem and told me to rest for a while and she would be back later to check on me.  

Jonathan set up camp & I think he went right to sleep (crazy.) I stayed up watching HGTV and napped off and on.  

This is where I get fuzzy on details & timing. 

Dr. Suit came into check on me.  I think around 7am. Scheduled my epidural and said she would be back.  I was having small contractions, but nothing too terrible, just uncomfortable.  Well, FINALLY (you'll also soon see that it seems Brynn's goal in life is to teach me patience) around 11:30am they came in to do the epidural.  At this point, I was so incredibly nervous and emotional.  All the waiting had doubled my anxiety.  The doctor explained what he would do, showed Jonathan how to prop me up, and got started.  He didn't let me know when he was going to poke me, so it surprised me when he did and I jumped a little. Then he got irritated with me and was rude (probably not really but it seemed like that to me) I started crying & Jonathan was trying not to look at what was going on, so the nurse stepped in to help and wiped my tears (again, all of my nurses were incredible!)  I really don't think the epidural was painful, I think I just had so much anxiety built up that it set me over the edge. 

Once they got my epidural going Dr. Suit came to break my water (and after all the "checking" they have to do, I was every so grateful for those numbing drugs) and said she would keep an eye on me from her office.  I would say this was around 1 or 2pm. 

Well the rest of the story goes like this...

Nurse: You're dilated to a 1. And she still hasn't dropped. 
Us: Watch the monitor...basically no contractions.
Me: Take a nap. Eat some ice. Watch HGTV. 

hour later...

Nurse: You're dilated to a 1.5. 
Us: Watch the monitor...basically no contractions.
Me: Take a nap. Eat some ice. Enjoy the drugs. 
Jonathan: Report to the family that there was no progress. 

hour later...
+added the monitors to Brynn to keep an eye on her stats

hour later... 

{Also, my ENTIRE family got to the waiting room at 10am and hung out there ALL. DAY. LONG...sorry guys...}

So by 7pm that night. I was at a 2 {which, later the nurse told me that I was still really at a 1, they just wanted to give me some encouragement...ha!} Dr. Suit came in and said she had to go to a meeting and would check back in on me in an hour and we would make some decisions. She came back in around 8:30PM and asked what I was comforable with...still waiting it out (with around 15 hours of no progress behind us, but baby doing perfectly fine) or head in for a c-section.  We decided it was time to have our baby!  

My parents {who were still in the waiting room} came in to pray with us.  They prepped me for a C-Section, got Jonathan set up, they gave me some more meds {this go around the anesthesiologist was MUCH kinder.} And wheeled me into the room. 

I really didn't have a set "birth plan" in mind.  My only plan was do get Miss B here safely.  Because of this I hadn't done any research on c-sections.  And I think that was for the best.  I honestly had no idea what to expect or what the recovery would be like. But, I knew lots of people must have been praying for us because I was so at peace & game for whatever.  

I was pretty much out of it by the time I got to the operating room.  After having the epidural all day & the new meds they had added I was really struggling to stay awake and was afraid I would fall asleep! Jonathan came in and kept his head as close to mine as possible, I'm pretty sure he was in shock that I was totally fine with my arms being strapped down and was doing his best not to be scared for life with what was happening.  {He did great by the way! ;)}

Dr. Suit walked in and asked if we were ready to go...and by 9:59 PM I heard the sweetest cry I've ever heard and I came UNGLUED.  

{I will save you all the really gross freshly born baby pics.  Because lets be real, even I can barely look at those.}

They took her to the side to do all the newborn things they do and I remember just being able to see the top of her head. Jonathan had walked over to be with her & I kept asking, "Is she ok?" "What color is her hair?!"  I got so upset that no one was talking to me or letting me see her that the anesthesiologist came over to comfort me 

{which is funny, because we have a picture of him sitting in the back at a desk with his feet propped up playing on his phone & he seemed so uninterested in what was going on. Also, it blows my mind that this is just a typical day at work for some people.  A GIANT thank you to ALL the caring nurses, doctors, and staff that make life changing days like this a great experience.} 

& tell me she had dark hair and was doing fine.  While they were working on B, they were putting me all back together and I remember the doctors and nurses talking about one of their upcoming vacations to Schilterbaun.  Ha! 

After what seemed like forever, they got her all wrapped up and Jonathan showed her to me for the first time.  I will NEVER forget they way my heart felt when I saw her.  I just said thank you to God over and over and over. 

They took me into recovery where I tried SO hard to stay awake but just couldn't.  I think I was asleep for about an hour when I mentally & physically had to pull myself out of it. 

While I was in recovery they wheeled Brynn to the nursery to continue the newborn tests. So I missed all of my family getting to see her for the first time.  But I guess they had waited long enough! I'm not sure how the details went, but Jonathan hadn't had a chance to let anyone know that she was here and ok, and one of my parents looked up and saw them rolling by with B in a cart.  So they all ran to the door and chased them down the hall. 

The first time I held Brynn.  

And I promise.  She smiled at me.  A lot. 
And I cried.  A lot. 

They took me to a room to get settled.  Jonathan came in a little while later and said, "Don't freak out..." yeah, ok. "But there is some fluid on Brynn's lungs and they are calling the pedi to see what he wants to do." Apparently when you have a C-Section this has a tendency to happen. They kept her in the nursery in a tent over night.  All I wanted to do was hold her! We decided to rest and knew she was in the best hands where she was.  

I woke up at 7 am and Brynn was FINALLY ready to come to our room.  I held her, stared at her, cried because I loved her so much, and thanked God for this good & perfect gift! She's "worth every midnight prayer."

Then it was my families turn to meet Brynn.  Those precious souls had waited the ENTIRE day before to see her.  

Aunt Reagan

Great-Grand Meme & Grams


Great Grandparents. Mema & DadDad

Honorary Aunt Kelsie 

Aunt DeAnn

She couldn't have been more perfect. 

That paci. 

Daddy jumped right in and changed all the diapers, swaddled her, and did all the heavy lifting. 

Smiley girl!

On the 2nd day there, someone had brought a box of doughnuts.  And from across the room I thought it was a cookie cake.  I was genuinely sad when it wasn't. Later that afternoon my Aunt DeAnn and Mackenzie brought me a cake...a monogrammed cake.  I cried.  And ate it all.  

We received the most beautiful flower arrangements from family and friends. 

I think we ended up in the hospital for 4 nights. We tried to keep her in our room the 2nd night then gave in and sent her to the nursery. The next few days were filled with family, friends, staring at our beautiful girl, and trying to figure out how in the world you take care of a newborn. All while I was recovering from the c-section and could barely move or stand up.  That part was not awesome. I will also save you those details. 

One of my dear work friends sent this outfit for Brynn and it's one of my favorites.  That paci looks HUGE on her little face!

Our best friends came to visit!

Grams and Pops brought us food, clothes (I didn't have small enough outfits for little one) and were lifesavers during and after the hospital.

Then there were three!

Before we left, we had the nurses stamp Brynn's footprint in our Bibles on the scriptures we prayed while waiting for her.  Such a treasure. 

We headed home on a Friday...and now looking back I can't imagine what I was thinking putting Brynn in these obviously too large clothes and the worlds smallest bow.  Ha! Her fashion has come a long way. :)

I cannot remember her being this tiny!!

We got home...stumbled into the house.  And all those baby blues, hormones and the weight of taking care of a newborn hit me HARD.  I called my Momma and begged her to come over and help me sort everything out {Lets be real...I didn't have to beg too hard.} Because in my mind, if things were in their place, everything would be better.  Ha! I don't think they prepare you well enough for the baby blues. I went back and forth between tears of joy & tears of fear & pain.  {and it was all worth it!}

Jonathan's family came in later that day to meet Brynn.  

Aunt Jilly & Nana G


Aunt Jilly, Nana & Papa G

The Garners

Meeting cousin Isabel. 

Aunt Angela was the BEST.  She cooked us lots of treats, (including the best little breads you've ever eaten) washed dishes, swept my floor, cooked lunch.  It was so appreciated!

Jillian said, "Oh my goodness, this is what they feed baby rabbits with!" And also, I don't know why in the world I left this hat on her for so long! I'm pretty sure one of my nurses told me to, but didn't get me a time frame? Who knows.  It was mid-August so I'm surprised Brynn didn't reach up there and swipe it off! Ahh...hindsight!

I text this pic to Aunt Jillian every once in a while and caption it with something funny I think Brynn is saying to her. hehe!

And with lots of help, we survived those first few days at home.  

My little doll baby. 

Still with the hat...

And I big time heart-eyed this little gown! It was so soft.  I miss it!


Nana G 


Nana & Papa G

Great-Grand Meme

Aunt Jilly was also a LIFESAVER those first few days at home.  She stuck around and went to Brynn's first appointment with us and she kept me calm when all I wanted to do was crawl into the corner because it was so exhausting to get us all out the door and up the stairs.  Because that first time you leave the house (especially after a c-section...everyone ends up needing a large sweet tea with extra ice from Sonic.) Jillian also came to the rescue after I trimmed Brynn's fingernails and made her bleed (and convinced myself I had injured her for life...those baby blues do crazy things to your mind!)

Itty Bitty Leggies!

I don't even know when the was.  But it was her first trip to Target. #specialday

Family went home, Jonathan went back to work, and we got into a rhythm as a family of three.  The scars healed, the pain went away, and was all replaced with the happiness of our new routine with little Brynn Mills.  

 This cutie face makes it ALL worth it. I know the struggle to become a Momma.  And I NEVER want to take it for granted, complain about it, or wish away our time together.  Yes, there are the days that are so hard and it's all I can do to make it to bed time.  But, you know what, those are few compared to the JOY that this girl gives my life.  I am positive that on our long road to Brynn, God was preparing my heart to appreciate every aspect of motherhood...even the difficult ones. I wouldn't change a single thing about her story.  
God's timing is ALWAYS perfect.  God is ALWAYS with us.  God is ALWAYS faithful.  God is ALWAYS good.  Thank you God for this gift.  I pray we raise her to love you, seek you, and share you.  

I love you Brynn Mills Garner. For Always. 

1 comment:

  1. LOVE this! I love birth stories! She was so little!!! Happy Birthday to Brynn!